Jack received his Tenderfoot at a court of honor tonight, the first rank boys earn in boy scouts. I'm proud of Jack because he is my boy, and he is an awesome boy at that. But to be honest, I've got mixed feelings about the adventure he's embarking on.
The only reason Jack is involved in scouting is because it's a key part of the boys' youth program in our church. Free spirits that we are, I don't think it's something any of the three of us--me, Roger or Jack--would have sought out for him on our own.
I'm all in with the focus on values like honor, integrity, and working hard toward goals. I'm all in with Jack learning leadership skills. And I'm all in with the fun of camping and the great outdoors and the male bonding over lighting stuff on fire and potty humor.
What I worry about is Jack struggling against the bureaucratic demands of scouting and conflating that with his spiritual journey. I worry about the way scouting accentuates an already gaping gender divide in our LDS culture. I worry about the conformity for conformity's sake and about the materialistic aspects of scouting (the sheer volume of inventory in the scout store makes me hyperventilate).
Maybe Jack will navigate all of the potential pitfalls I worry about beautifully, and all of my worry will be for nothing. I've got an amazing example in my dad, who was an exemplary scout master for many years. I've got wonderful brothers-in-law who have given me wise advice. We have good men that I really respect involved in our troop, like one of our favorite neighbors pictured above with Jack. And the troop is full of boys I'm happy for Jack to look up to.So far Jack's experience in scouts has been positive, and the leaders haven't made him stop wearing the troop numbers that should be sewn onto the sleeve of his uniform shirt instead tucked into the band of the non-regulation Spanish military cap.
Let's just say I'm happy that Roger will be one of his leaders when he turns 12 in a few months and that we won't be holding Jack's driver's license hostage if he hasn't earned his Eagle.
5 comments:
The bishop in our ward announced that our Pinewood Derby, to be held this week, was for all youth 8-(forgot the age) - he emphasized that boys and girls were invited. So glad to hear this!
As for Eagle Scouts and Driver's licenses - what's that all about anyway? Weird.
Enjoy the journey, knowing that Scouting can be a journey, and that merit badges, moving up the ranks, do not have to be destinations.
I used to struggle with scouting more than I do now. It felt like I was pushing too much and doing too much of the work.
However, I have only one son and his dad isn't involved the way I would like him to be. And while he's a good man in many ways, there are certain qualities I wish were more a part of his everyday life. Scouting gives me the opportunity to make sure my son is exposed to many male role models. Men and boys who can help him learn what it really means to be a man. That it's about more than just being tough and not backing down from a fight. Not just through the scouting, but through who these men and boys are.
It's work. Sometimes it's irritating. But for me, it's worth it.
And I'm with you on the license/Eagle Scout thing. Not gonna happen here either.
I think my sons would wish they were in your family. It may not be the right strategy, but from the other side of the license (and the Eagle), I was surprised to have my son state that the most important thing he did last year was earn his Eagle. They (hopefully) do learn some good things on the journey, and I know scouting has helped my son feel more comfortable in a macho male society that he sometimes finds to be a poor fit with his interests and personality.
I know that son #2 will start working on "Family Life" and "Personal Management" much earlier than son #1 did.
Thanks for the encouragement and positive stories about your sons. I know there are many good things.
And full disclosure, Denise. My view is tainted by the fact that I had to drive to my senior prom because my date had his license held hostage :)
Awesome attitude. We are cub scout leaders in our ward and the parents and kids have been really great. No one is too pushy about getting awards/badges, but I have seen what a great affect the scouting program has had on boys who have a hard time following through on long-term goals. One boy with severe ADHD has a hard time accomplishing a ten-minute goal, let alone earning a badge that takes a year to complete. But, when he saw the ceremony put on for another scout, he wanted that honor for himself, and next month he will be earning his Bear badge. I think, if it's done right, the scouting program can teach intrinsic motivation and a love of learning, two things that are severely lacking in our public education system. I hope I can find similar programs for my girls (and we all know Girl Scouts is not that program, ugh!).
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