I've been telling enough people that I might as well blog about the following big news in our lives: By the time we complete the sale on the store, we might be parents to a brand new baby boy.
One of the reasons--in fact the main reason, really--that Jack's birth mother came to see us a couple of weeks ago is that she is seven months pregnant, her engagement to the father exploded, and she will not raise another child as a single parent. She's been there, done that, and does not want another child to have to bear that.
She was hesitant to come to us because there is a chance there will be custody issues with the father. She didn't want us to get our hopes up only to dash them if it doesn't work out. But she is committed to this course of action (and based on our experience with her I believe her when she says she's made up her mind), and she wanted us to have a chance to mentally and emotionally prepare and get our paperwork in order.
We're really okay with the uncertainty in this and are pressing forward with plans. We're at this place emotionally where we had decided that we were pretty happy being a family of three, and that we weren't going to pursue adoption anymore. Perhaps a tinge of guilt or concern that Jack is an only child (see http://mlayton.blogspot.com/2006/06/only-child.html). We definitely haven't been pining for another child, and I think that puts us in a position where we might end up disappointed, but we do not risk devastation. And whether the baby stays with his birth mom or comes to be a part of our family, he will always be Jack's brother and will be a part of his life on some level.
We've had a few phone calls back and forth since that first meeting, and I'm putting the chances of the adoption going through at about 80% (oh, like I can put a number to it!). Regardless of how sure the birth mom is about placing the baby with us if it were just up to her, I want to give her the space to (1) decide that she wants to keep the baby even if it means raising him on her own or (2) reconcile with the birth father and go back to the dream they had of being a being a family together.
If the adoption doesn't go through, this whole experience has reassured us that Jack's birth mom is clearly happy that she made the decision to place him with us. That feels very, very good.
A happy aside: Many of you know that Jack was born on Roger's birthday. Well, this baby is due August 12, but the birth mom has a history of early delivery. In fact she is currently taking medication to prevent labor. Wouldn't it be wild if this baby was born on July 29, my birthday?
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