Set Back

We found out yesterday that Jack's birthmom has reconciled with the father of the baby she's carrying. We also found out that she has health problems that might preclude any more pregnancies, which puts an entirely different emotional spin on this pregnancy for her.

According to her parents, who stopped by yesterday, the whole thing--their daughter's relationship and the possible placement of her baby--is still really up in the air. But I'm not sure how much of that is wishful thinking on their part coupled with sheer exhaustion from the emotional roller coaster they've been on with their daughter and her varied, generally unsuccessful relationships.

These are things I know for sure:

• That we will continue to move forward on the adoption approval process so we are prepared for any contingency.
• That if she calls either when the baby is born or even months from now wanting us to adopt her son, we will do it without hesitation.
• That Jack is excited about having a baby brother whether he lives with our family or lives with hers, but, he says, "we'll be lucky if he comes to live with us."
• That I want (need) her to make her decision to keep the baby or to place the baby freely, without feeling pressured into it by her parents, his parents or by us. (Actually, I feel pretty certain that she is immune to pressure like that!)
• That if she keeps the baby, she will do everything in her power to do right by him, and that if she places the baby with us it will be because she wants to do right by him.
• That if she keeps the baby, we will ask, for Jack's sake, to meet him and to see him from time to time as he grows up. And we hope we'll see more of Jack's two older half-sisters as well. I'm pretty confident that this is something Jack's birth mom wants too.

So there you have it.